Selflessness.

Queen joining Facebook?!
Seriously?

Haha Yea guess so,
cause I saw it on Yahoo! News.

Anyway.
Chinese O Levels are Over!
Whoopieeez. (:

Well haha I guess I got over the happy mood about that just now so now I'm back to my normal mood.
Hee. (:

I watched the 5.30pm show "Xin hua duo duo kai" just now & it just made me think alot.
I'm sorry, a person like me just HAS to share her findings and thoughts and all & if yall people find it boring, I suggest and highly encourage you people to skip what I'm gonna say next, cause I May (Or May not.) make you cry.




SEE? I KNEW IT.
All of you are STILL just die die also wanna read on.
Fine.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

The episode this time round showed a guy that was suffering from this illness,
I forgot its long longgg name already but anyway,
yea well the illness causes him to have a disability in talking, walking or even staying mobile.
Like he will gradually become a handicapped person as his condition deteriorates.
& there's this girl that treats this guy like her benefactor,
cause well he IS her benefactor,
so she wants to take care of him until he.. you know.
but she has her own family, she's married, has a child, but.. okay I'm getting out of point,
but basically, she wants to take care of him, and he disagrees cause he doesn't want to be a burden.
Yes. Standard storyline in TV dramas.

But this part made me tear and feel really touched man.
Seriously.
The girl brought her daughter to his home to like I don't know, just to meet & chat, those random stuff.
Then the girl went out of the house for awhile, leaving the daughter & the guy together to chat for awhile.
& the guy starting making some small talk,
but he had disability talking right cause of his illness,
so his words weren't clear.
(this part already made me tear a little btw.)
The daughter was giving the "huh" expression as she didn't understand what she meant,
but then after that she started crying and begging the guy not to take her mother (the girl) with him,
cause like I said the girl wanted to take care of the guy and they were going to Europe I think.
& she said,
"I mean you would rather let yourself be upset than a whole family being upset right?"
And the guy was also on the verge of tears and he just thought about it.
The next day, he wrote a letter also with much difficulty to the girl,
telling her he's leaving & she need not look for him cause he'll be fine.
he went to a hospice in the end.

in the show, he really looked.. well, sad.
& then I realised like no matter how strong someone may be,
diseases and illnesses will strike that person one day,
and a healthy human being may be reduced to a really sad state,
where they even lose their mobility.
The thought of that just makes me feel so sad.

Like there was once when I read Xizhe's blog,
and he said something like maybe aliens had a hold over us,
and they sent us to earth.
& with each year, we'll get wiser & gain some extra knowledge about this world and about everything around us.
& actually there's some kind of a disease within us that makes us age year by year,
so that eventually that day when we actually realise what life is all about, or realise some super important information about our earth (or sth like that),
we die.
as simple as that.
so the secret will never be uncovered.
somehow I understand what he meant now.

Like I mean don't you think so?
It's always the same like only when one is about to face death,
that that someone actually wakes up and realises he/she has alot of things he/she has not done yet.
or realised how he/she has wasted his/her life away all these while,
and when they start to make amends,
it's all too late,
leaving regrets.

But also from that episode from the 5.30pm show,
do I learn another lesson.

About selfless love.

I think selfless love itself is WAYYY better than like those kinda Crushes, or infatuation, or just any other kind of love itself.
I think selfless love is worth it,
and it's very 伟大,
and well, it sounds better too.

Selfless love is about having little or no concern for oneself, of being unselfish,
and only placing all your love on the other person that you love.

Cause in the show, the guy with the illness was in love with the girl.
But he can only blame fate for having let him meet the right girl at the wrong time.
Because at that time when he met her,
she was already married and with a child.
Nevertheless,
he still had selfless love for her.
he cared for her without strings attached.
He loved her without requesting or even hoping she would love him back.
He just loved her.
& at the very end,
he only thought of her and not wanting to be a burden to her,
made a decision to leave.
Like seriously.
It will NEVER happen in real life.
We've got to face it.
There aren't really many people in this world that would even be so brave to make such a painful decision like him.

Like if u ask me,
I was scolding him dumb and fuming all along while watching the show.
Cause if I were him,
I don't think I'll have the capability or courage to make such a decision,
or have such selfless love.

Would you?

Then after that,
I thought of next year.
I thought of even though our O levels were next year,
yes indeed, that is one thing to be afraid and sad of.
But have you ever thought of the other frightening thing next year?
Well.
Next year, is the last year we will be in this school,
with all our friends.
After next year, after the O levels,
most likely we will be separated from our good friends,
and going to different JCs.
That thought scared me half to death when I remembered it just now.

Because I know I will miss having Joyce as a partner in school.
I know I will miss sharing our funny stories,
and laughing oh so loudly in class with Yuju and Winglam.
Because I know I will miss Yuntian & Jingning's randomness when they come over during recess.
Because I know I will miss all my friends.
Alot.

Even though u may say,
hey don't worry,
you'll meet new friends and good friends in JC as well.
It'll be a same cycle all over again.
yes that's true,
but what if it doesn't happen that way?

It's just like when I remember I was in Primary school,
in Primary 6, I was also freaking worried about secondary life,
and truth to be told,
I WAS separated from my best friends.
Esther & Cass went to different schools,
and yes, even though I'm still super thankful that we're still meeting up and keeping contact,
but it's a fact that we're indeed not as close as before.
That's why I'm just worried that the really and truly wonderfully close friends I have now,
My clique, my "family" clique, and all my wonderful friends.
I'm just afraid in the end we'll not be as close as we were.
I mean I can't be like SO SELFISH to like force all of them to go to the same school as me or sth,
because everyone will get different results.
But I guess for now,
we'll all just have to treasure and cherish what we have till the very end.

Well, are you all crying yet?
HEH HEH.
Haha Yeap I'm a super mean meanie. (:

But just wanted to let all of you know how much I Love you people. (:
*gives each one a free BIG hug.*
Thanks for reading my blog & I love all my friends ALOT.
Because they are AWESOMAZING peeeps.

<3

xoxoxo Anyone can teach me how to do SS hw?? ):