Why doesn't anyone support me.
I really just wanted one person, any one person to just say yes and okay I'll support u in this, so go for it.
Just one.
Because I knew if anyone else disapproved or doubted my choice,
I knew I would just break down.

I'm still so not very used to JC life.
I mean yes I made new friends, I have a nice class, thankfully, and the people are nice and all.
But I guess I just haven't actually readjusted myself to know that I'm now a JC1 student and there's gonna be a lot of changes like how we've to be more independent, and the environment, new people, new this new that.
And me, I'm a person that hates changes.
I really cannot stand changes, especially feeling like I'm going through all these changes alone.
I hate how I'm so weak inside, and I just cry over the smallest damn things.
I hate how crying always gets in the way when what I really wanna do is talk it all out to someone who will try their very best to understand me patiently.
I mean I know people don't have the time to bother to listen to me talk, but I'm trying.
Really I am.

I'm sorry I'm such a wimp.
Somehow I just feel like there's another soul within me that's always doing the crying.
And it's so hard for them to stop once they start.
The tears just keep coming and even when I will myself to stop crying immediately to prevent further upsetting others, I just can't stop. Or rather, the other person/soul within me can't stop.

I'm so tired of everything, seriously.
I'm so so tired, mentally.
I wanna pause my life for awhile and smack myself in the face to remind myself that I'm already in JC1 and I'm supposed to be becoming more mature and independent.
And I must not be such a weakling anymore.

I want someone to be with me.
Someone reliable, someone I can trust, someone who bothers to try to understand.

xoxoxoxo Rest.