Sigh.

Everything about my life is like so Sianz now.
I don't really know why.
Okay maybe I might know this why but I simply don't feel like saying it out here.

I blogged this rather emo post before this but I guess I also shall not post it since well, I'm not known for my emo-ness.

But in my previous unposted post, I wanna say a big Thank you to my bestie, Esther, of let's see... 9 years. (:
Thanks for being there for me whenever I need you. Thanks for tutoring me in Chemistry.
And hey I got good news for you teacher.
I PASSED Chem. Hahaha.
Well okay unfortunately it wasn't a high pass or anything but STILL. Gawsh I freaking Passed Es.
Kay that's also if I didn't calculate wrongly. ._.

Everything about my school life now is Meh.
Mainly cause for me, there's so many things to cope with.
Midyears results weren't that good, and there's so many upcoming things!
Like there's Promos coming and omg I'm gonna have like my Maiden performance (As my dance teacher quoted it) on Teachers' Day. *Screams*
I'm not screaming in the excited Ohmygosh I'm finally gonna perform.
But I'm screaming in the Ohmygosh I'm so gonna embarrass myself, now it's time to panic kind of scream.
Thinking about it now is giving me cold feet. Literally.
idon'tknow. I get cold feet (Literally) when I'm nervous or just feeling weird inside.

Then there's gonna be like what Class committee investiture which is really highly unnecessary if u ask me. Like performing in front of the whole school on Teachers' Day isn't enough.

I also feel I haven't been spending enough time with my family. My dearest dearest family.
I really love my family because like everyone tries to make the effort to keep Sunday free so we can just have some "Family bonding time".
Especially my wonderful Daddy. Even though he's forever traveling to an fro from M'sia and back to S'pore, but he will try his very best to rush back on Saturday or Sunday in the wee hours so we can go on our Morning walk at like a nature reserve on Sunday morning then go for a nice breakfast.
Honestly speaking, I'm definitely NOT a great fan of hiking, walking in those forests. Oh wait. I'm not even a Fan. But well, I will still go cause at least I can spend time with my family.
I owe them that much.
It's just SO DIFFICULT. So tough in balancing your studies and your friends and your family and whatnot.
I mean in JC, there's really NO TIME to even SLACK and what, wait until tomorrow to get cracking?
If you even have that kind of mentality then.. All I can say is, Good luck Mate. You're gonna need it.
Everything is so.. full speed now. There's almost not enough time to even breathe. All those free time are normally used in recharging yourself. AKA SLEEP. Yes that's a luxury in JC.

I've been feeling really tired and Sian like especially recently. One, definitely cause of results. And maybe some other stuff. I just pray that the Lord will help me through all these ordeals I'm facing.

Every single day, every single time I feel alone, weary, sick of carrying on, I pray to the Lord silently.
I pray that he will give me strength and courage. Because I feel these two qualities are what's lacking in me, right now.

And I feel that I'm a really boring person. Like okay maybe at the start of knowing me, you may find that "Wow this girl is really kinda different and I wanna be friends with her forever and ever." But like if you keep talking to me every day and hang out with me everyday, I think one day you'll just get sick of me. Like I don't know. I can be crazy and funny and chatty but sometimes, maybe someday my jokes will get old, my laughter overrated, and things like that then yea.

That's kinda also the reason why I don't really wanna join show business. I mean, I think I have the ability and skill to be in it and succeed. I think. As some people have told me: "Omg why aren't you in Mediacorp yet??" But like then again, it links back to my previous point. People will get sick of me one day.

Oh gosh I've been so emo throughout this post okay Enough Jiawen.

BYTHEWAY OMG I'm like totally spazzing over this new.. What's that word dammit.. Aiya but she's an actress/singer called NAOMI SCOTT. SHE IS GORGEOUS AND CAN SING.
I wiki-ed her after spotting her in the movie "Lemonade Mouth" and realized she also acts in Terra Nova!!
She's mixed British and Indian COOL RIGHT?! She's just so pretty and her voice can easily blow you away I'm not even kidding. Teehee! I'll find some nice pics of her & Post it soon kay.

Okayokayokayokayokay my conscience is trying to get me off this post already. Cause I'm supposed to do Project work. UGH. OMG PW IS SO ANNOYING BLEH.

Kay Ciao!

xoxoxoxo Whoever says being a dancer is easy deserves a slap/punch from me.