The thought of having to meet new people once again scares me. A lot.
I like meeting new people. I won't deny. But starting everything again in a new environment, without seeing any of the familiar faces, any of the familiar friends u always hang out with, just scares me so much. So so much.
I think I can make friends. But I take so long to fully know someone, to make a good friend.
I don't want to just have normal hi-bye friends. I want to have friends that I can really talk to.. About stuff. To study together, people that understand you.
Sigh. So scary I can't.
Recently I started setting this two weeks condition, & tmr will be day 4. If it is successful. So I really hope that I would be stronger, not only physically, but also spiritually after these two weeks.
"Be strong & courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified by them, for your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
I memorised this verse cause I feel that I truly need the quality of courage in me. I may always be trying to remain strong & steady, but I'm still not there yet. I'm still learning to be a stronger person that can handle problems better, a more courageous person to speak up for myself & others without crumbling.
I always tend to compare myself with others. Unknowingly, I just do.
In a lot of aspects, and then I start to feel really inferior about myself. Like I wish for this to be like her or I wish for this to be better etc.
But all these has got to stop. Because this will be a never ending list of things that I want to change about myself.
I've got to try to change myself, wherever change is possible. Take someone who's better than me as an example & role model & learn to be better in that way.
Whatever I can't change, I've got to accept it.
I'm going to learn.
Note to self: You've really got to handle your thoughts AND your temper.
Sigh okay it's already 12.35am & now I even have doubts if I can wake up on time later.
G'night.
xoxoxoxoxo Negative vibes be gone please.
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