No worries I'm not rushing for time or anything cause it's currently 100% on my phone HAHA.
Soooooo.. It's a new year already, it's 2014!!
I'm someone who doesn't like changes. I take some time (sometimes longer than others) to get used to certain changes in my life, big or small.
I'm slowly getting used to not having school, not having to see my classmates as often now, just getting used to a lot of things.
I mean sure I still do keep in contact with some of my closer classmates but.. It just doesn't feel the same anymore.
I was afraid of this. I was so afraid of this.
Once we graduated, once prom was over, it really means goodbye.
Later on, I'm afraid we'll all just drift apart, one by one. Even if I organize outings or anything in future, it won't feel the same again.
Things just have changed.
I miss my class, to be honest. I miss getting to see my friends, my classmates every weekday.
Even though school was tough, it was the people that helped me get going as well.
I miss those times early in the morning when I would wait for the others to come one by one to the round table in the same area, then we would talk & laugh & laugh & laugh.
I have a heavy heart talking about all these right now.
I miss laughing.
Everyone's so busy now I guess.
Even I'm busy. It just kinda sucks.
The guys are preparing to go into army, most of the girls are all working..
I'm also gonna start work on Monday it's just..
I'm sorry if maybe I'm thinking too much or anything but I really..
I wish somehow I could feel happier again.
My parents yet again, went over to Malaysia.
So at home it's as usual me & my sisters & my maid.
I'm still so thankful for my aunt who lives rather near from us so at least she can often meet us for dinner or stuff so at least I don't feel like the only adult at home.
I hate it whenever I have to like "take over the household" whenever my parents are not around.
I am suddenly surrounded by so much responsibility & I feel so trapped.
Taking care of my sisters is no easy job, trust me.
I'm taking care of so many things I have little time for myself, little time to do things I really want, & more things to worry about.
My heart just feels so so heavy, so so unhappy & I feel choked.
I really cherish times when I can meet up with my friends, like when I met lei for lunch & wing for dinner I was feeling so much better instantly.
& when I went out with Es & Cas it felt really good as well, except for the last part when we had to say goodbye.
I just miss so many people so much I wanna give all of them a hug when I see them soon.
I just wanna know how they're doing & I wish all the best for them. I only want the best for them & I would really love it for us to just meet up once in a while to just have a nice chat about how we're doing etc. I don't wanna wait till we all become strangers. I really don't.
And about work, well I'm gonna work as a Singtel promoter but this job is only for 2 weeks (thankfully haha)
So I hope I'll do fine in this first job that I'm taking up!
I'm currently known as Claire to my colleagues cause apparently my Chinese name is difficult to remember & pronounce & they said I look like a Claire (Do I?) HAHA But I guess I'm alright with it cause Claire sounds like a nice name hahahaha
& thankfully I plucked up the courage & got to know some of my colleagues haha so cool to call them my colleagues haha
So far there's Mark (real name junming HAHA also cause Chinese name so he got a new name), Timothy (real name yixiang), Maisarah (Mai for short), Arifah, Mary & there are others but I didn't get hold of their names.. Oh there's Petrina as well I think
Yeappp I really hope things will go fine haha
Wish me luck! (:
Goodnight & Sweet Dreams everybody <3
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Lord please help me.
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