I think too much.

Yes I do. 

I hate how I overthink. But I do.

One simple comment, one simple remark which may seem frivolous or trivial to others has a really huge impact on me.

I'll begin to think the worst out of things & blame it all on myself for being so imperfect. 

Though I'm thankful for not getting as deathly insecure as I've always felt in the past, I still do feel insecure almost all the time. It's just difficult to tell, maybe, but I really do.

I don't even know if I wanna say all these out but I need to rant.

It's as though I have this inferiority complex & I am really sensitive towards people's comments, though sometimes I just laugh it off, but then when I'm alone, it'll start to bug me & then I get all insecure cause I'm that lousy. 

I start to believe that I really am that imperfect & it feels really bad.

I hate how I can't just simply shrug it off like others & just let it go already but I can't. 

U know how sometimes u wished u were taller, slimmer, smarter, funnier, & a more interesting person? 

Because I always have this fear of people getting bored of me after awhile. 

Because I know how it's like.

People may first get to know me & think that I'm a really interesting & loud person that keeps talking & chattering (sigh) & talking & laughing & all, that's why I'm afraid if one day I go all quiet or at times when I feel like being a little quieter, I'll go unnoticed. 

Sometimes I wish I could try to just be quiet for a little while (though I know at this point countless of people will start to comment saying stuff like u can keep quiet for a while omg that's a miracle) but well sometimes people face down time, sometimes people wish to just slow down & be quiet for awhile. 

I wish to be quiet for a little while to see who would actually come up to me I notice this change & ask me if everything's alright. 

But there's this fear that people will just stereotype me as being emo & I'd just. 

I'm sorry to whoever is reading this, if there is, for having all these thoughts but I guess after a whole day of loudness & jumping around & all it's only at night & at such a nice quiet timing that I really get to sit down to have some alone time to think about stuff to rest for a little whole I I'll have these thoughts. 

A'ighty. It's late now, like exactly 1AM & I'm still not in bed so that's already wrong.

Hahaha. Goodnight people & here's some love to whoever's reading this who may not be having as good a day as well *hugsssssss* 

xoxoxoxoxoxo Smile even when things are down.