Going through hell & reaching the end.

Alas I'm more than halfway there.

This whole journey of As has been.. Torturous. 

I really don't wanna start thinking about my papers cause I'm just afraid that would make me feel really upset that I can't help but cry again so yea.

I just really pray that with God's grace, everything will work out perfectly, in His own time, with His ways. 

My mood now is just ... 

That's like my current mood.

I feel exceptionally tired, not just physically but more of mentally.

It's a lot of stuff I guess. I just don't feel like saying it out here.

I'm afraid of being alone. 

Ever since I was young I've always been passed on to different people to be my caregivers, up till now, I guess I really have to learn to be more independent to take better care of myself & reduce the reliance on others.

Especially since my parents are always always always so busy.

To be brutally honest, I hate it.

I hate how they're always busy & they have to fly around to M'sia china & all those different places. 

It used to just be my dad & the sad part is that I got used to it, but now that my mum's helping him, she has to fly around more frequently as well.

I never wanted to get used to this, but I guess it's tough. I'd HAVE to get used to this. 

I hate it when I've to be the adult at home. Ensuring that everything at home is in order while my parents are away, having a thousand & one more responsibilities, & just maintaining peace & order at home. (Okay I sound like a judge but well, things aren't as easy to handle at my house haha.)

It's tiring & I don't like it.

I don't like coming home to an empty house.

Moving on from there..

I came across this

I guess I should start living by this.

Haha I think I really look out for my friends (not trying to mean or say anything) but sometimes it's tiring always having to look out for people when u cannot even take care of yourself.

My mum always told me, "Learn to take care & love yourself first, then learn to take care of others."

I guess I should really start pampering myself more hahaha.

And somehow I really like this model 

I kinda forgt her name at the moment but I think she's really really pretty. 

I have another photo of her from some time ago

This picture doesn't really look like her but she looks so flawless haha like seriously she's really pretty I feel.

Hahaha like I can just look at her pictures all day in admiration hahaha.

Last picture for this post:

A candid picture of me & my second sis decorating the mini Christmas tree that we've placed in our home (:

Haha I kinda like this picture haha cause at least it doesn't show my full face.

Haha I look extremely Cui now please.

People who see me on the streets or sth now please don't get frightened off. It's still me, but mid-exam state (so extremely Cui.)

& anyway the pink woolen jacket that I wore is my favourite attire to wear on a rainy day & it happened to be raining that day (: teehee.

Okay Fi-freakin-ally my phone has finished syncing & I can go to sleep.

I'm so happy I cleared like 4.48GB of my iPhone memory (I CLEARED LIKE 1K PLUS OF PHOTOS *heartbreak*)

& downloaded new songs YAY (:

Oh oh my current fave song is Heart By Heart - Demi Lovato (:

If u guys reading this are free go check it out okay cause I think this song has a new taste to it, like it has it's own unique tune so I quite like it (:

A'ighty Goodnight World. Sleep tight humans. <3

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo And you know my heart by heart, do you?